Saturday, May 17, 2008

I am thankful for Missy...

365 - Day 6 , originally uploaded by laurensmashtoys.

She is a good friend. She listens and gives unbiased advice on situations about subjects she doesn't even want to discuss with me.(I mean that in the best way possible)

I am thankful for this in ways I can't even go into.

My live is in a weird place right now. I am truthfully feeling things that I know are true real honest feelings but they confuse the hell out of me. I am doing things for myself that I think are going to help my mental health. After much heavy discussion with myself, I am going out to San Francisco. Just for a few days. Just to see how I feel. Just to visit people(and puppies) I miss. To take tons of pictures. To maybe help move a studio. To relax a little. We will see how things go. It might be the end of an era. It might be more. I will see. All I know is that right now I am sick to my stomach and sniffly and teary eyed all from a conversation that knocked me off my feet.

I have thought long and hard about how much info I talk about on here. I think it is important for me to get this out for me and also have a place to look back on it in the future to show how I have grown or not grown. I love blogging. It feels conversational. It feels nice. I love bouncing my thoughts and ideas off of myself and you.

I am glad for myself, I have decided not to dwell on things, I am going to move forward in every way I can. If I stumble, I will get up and keep going. I just want to make sure that I cover all of my bases, explore all of my feelings.


kimberland designs said...

Hi Lauren,
I just want to let you know that I have been what you are going through and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I know it feels like you are in a dark place right now and there is no way out (I compare it to a hole - you cant claw yourself out no matter how hard you try) but it does get better. Not straight away, but it will =). If you ever need to talk about it let me know. I just want you to know that you are not alone. My email is
All the best, Kimberley

Katie said...

HI! I normally lurk, but I came out of hiding to let you know I think the way you talk/type on your blog is refreshing & honest.

I know what you're going through. I had a break-up with a boy I was with for 4 years, moved across the country back to DC, met a lovely man who I lived with until last year, that went sour, & FINALLY moved to Northern, VA (just outside of the city) into my own place again, close to all my girls (Mom, 2 sisters & my niece) It takes a long time to get re-situated. I've been here almost a year, and am finally getting back into my Katie groove. (Break-up's, new jobs, moving... those are in the top ten stressers list.)

You're not alone, and it's brave to make choices that are right for you, even though they hurt. You'll be happier in the long run. I'm sure of it! ;)